Ok.I have absolutely nooo idea why i’m writing this when I have two assignements to finish by tomorrow….but what the hell…?
Besides, I can’t concentrate…my friend totally pissed me of today…She calls me her ‘best friend’(I have a personal antagonism towards that word)…and she will leave no opportunity to fight with me….honestly, at times she…and quite a few of my friends diss what I’m saying…
I’m sick of their inconsiderate behavior…I have tried to ignore this…but today it got way out of hand….my friend completely insullted me…I hate any sort of tension…and though I do want to go and give her a slap…the practical side in me holds me back-what if I’m exaggerating and she’s right to insult me….I feel so worthless…I’m tired of crying myself to sleep depressed about the useless piece of shit I am…
This is frustrating…everything is so unclear…making decisions is becoming more and more confusing….I feel like I’ll need therapy soon.Life back in kindergarten was way better…when the hardest decision was choosing which crayon to colour with…

I spent today consoling my mum about my aunt who is dying of brain cancer and filling in a hole i kicked in my wall out of frustration because my father gave my 7 year old a lighter to play with and my brand new bamboo table runner got set on fire. Then i went to a parent teacher interview, where i was told “oh it’s almost like aspergers syndrome”. Why don’t you just call my son rainman you fat poodle permed cunt. Tonight i cut myself.

Fml.

Fuck my life. My real friends live in another country and I rarely see them. My mother doesnt really love me (she´s an alcoholic who hit me as a kid and has always told me that there is not such a thing as inconditional love for a monster like me). That has kind of left me without any felling of self worth. I am 20 years old and still a virgin coz I fear to be hurt by anyone and have locked myself into my “mental shell”. It´s killing me. I wake up multiple times a night because I have nightmares. No matter what I do, it won´t get better. I have been a nice person to everyone, have worked on my looks until most girls have started sayin I look really hot and everything… And my life still sucks. I am suffocating inside my shell. Some years ago, I used to have such things as illusions and a plan for my life. I have lost those things tho. I don´t know where I am going, and what I am supposed to do with my life. I am standing in front of a load of broken glasses, and I only know that I just can´t work for my whole life like an ant and only get shit back. I have thought about suicide, but I won´t surrender to that fucked up world like that. As time passes, I am questioning social conventions such as laws and socially acceptable behaviour more and more. Life´s just a bitch who backstabs me every time I trust her and turn around, so I don´t see why I should be nice to her. I am becoming more and more criminal as time goes on. If things dont change, I see myself dealing a ton of cocaine or in jail in a couple of years. I am not a bad person tho. I am, and always will be, that boy who only got hit and never got a chance to make anything out of his life.

i have a little problem in my life that i wanna tell you about …

i really like to be a business man cause i like money !! and i want to be rich . so im going to learn about this topic !! but in the other hand i love romantic times and my wife and i want to have a great family … so i don’t want my work to reduce my spent time with my family !! (and it’s all cause i want to be a business man .. so i don’t like to be always busy .. cause i think that everyone like to live in a calm life and serene places. so i just want to have your suggestions in this !! so i can find my self another job !!)

so if anybody has some info. for me , you can tell me cause i respect you and your opinions .
thnx….

My friend and I have been there for each other since 1st grade. We were the best of friends you could ever meet. Years later, someone moved into her neighborhood that was in the same grade as us. At first, I didn’t have a problem with them hanging out. Later on, for some reason, I couldn’t take it. I was so jealous of how it seemed like my best friend liked someone else more than me. I mean, we have had our friendship go on for so long, and now she’s just hanging out with a girl she met a couple months ago. (And no, I’m not a lesbian O_O).

Today, I was chatting with one of my other friends.

She said “Can I go to your house today?”

I said “No, my parents have to work “. So I got an idea and said “Maybe I can go to your house!”

She told me “Okay, but I have to clean the house first.”

So, when my mom got home, I asked her “Can I go to _____’s house today?”

She said “Yeah, sure.” When my dad got home though… I asked the same thing. He just had to say no like he always does.

Remember about my best friend I talked about earlier? Well, she was invited to my other friends house because I couldn’t go. What a great day.

FUCK MY LIFE.

im 14 and i lost my virginity to a 20 year old babysitter i met at church and her name is Endy. i can’t complain, at least i got laid.

Fucking college. As long as I don’t go to a fucking dumbass college, I am cool, but my greedyass parents want me in ivy leagues or something ‘cus they think I’m smart enough since I took some AP classes, so they’re making me study every fucking hour for the SAT. Like seriously, I only get 5 hours of sleep every day. BTW this is during FUCKING SUMMER VACATION. WHAT THE FUCK. FML. Fuck my parents and collegeboard (nonprofitable my ass). If I don’t relieve this stress somehow, I’ll become a crazy motherfucker. I should probably get myself a girlfriend, but every fucking decent girl around me either taken or not interested in me. FUCK. Now I just want to fucking die and disappear from this fucked up world.

well first of all i can care less about my life and i can care less about other peopls lives and same thing goes for the death.y care for the dead if i dont really care fo r the leaving.i can call me goth, i wear black all the time, i listen to depressing music and it makes me feel better, i talk about death, blood, and suffering. u can call me emo i write death on my arms with anything sharp tell it turn dark red and starts to bleed. i sm the psycho in my life i dont understand y im like this but its who i am and how i was raised. if someone can help me over come this that be great.love hates me, i cant find true happiness , i have no determination, no hopes,dreams,i dont think i have a future, i want a solution to end this if u tell me i should just go die, thats probably where im heading anyway so help me if u want