I’m black and my boyfriend is white. I’m sixteen and he’s nineteen, we’ve been together for two years. Our relationship is strong but surrounded by drugs and alcohol. We’re both into pills. (Oxy, Xan, Percocet) And we’re always high, and having sex while we’re high. It’s just what we do. Anyway, it was like a week ago I blew a hundred dollars of my paycheck to buy a few low doses of oxy. (I can’t take more than 10 mg’s of oxy or I’ll overdose.) Anyway, he comes over and we do them. The next morning, I wake up, and he’s gone and my pills are gone. So, now I’m pissed an I find a letter that says he only wanted me for my money (My dad is rich, an I work as a maid for 16 dollars an hour.) And sex. Fuck him, and fuck life.

I fell in love with this guy when I was 16. That was 24 years ago, he got married to someone else. Over the years I heard from mutral friends that I was all he talked about. Texted me a couple of months ago, and told me that he was going through a divorce and that he wanted to see me. We started spending as much time together that we could. Last Monday I was at his house, the ex showed up with one of the daughters. I went to the bedroom while she was there, I did not want to be in the middle. Her and I shared words when we where younger and I did not need to share words with kids in the picture. She left came back with his other daughter who, walked in the house. We where in the bedroom talking and she just walked in. I will never forget that face, she looked very upset like she was going to cry. He walked out of the room and went and spoke to her. When he came back in he said that she said she always thought that they would get back together. I felt like a home wrecker. Now, he has not spoken to me since then. Why was I so stupid to let him in my heart again. I told him not to hurt me and he said I was being insecure. That’s just fucked up!

I’m in love with this girl. I love her down to my soul, and would do anything for her. But
she continues to shun me, and choose these men who only want her for their own pleasure..they use her, and every time and time again, her heart is broken by these inglorious bastards..every time i see her cry, i cry as well..and she claims that there is no one that loves her. yet there i stand silently..ready to take all the pain…ready to love her PAST her pain. but still she persist. The love i have for her is tearing me apart..yet i can’t seem to let her go Why? why do we always choose what is poison to us? why don’t we look past what is seemingly perfect and chose what we really need? my God..if she would just give me a chance i’d show her a love she’d never felt before. She’d never have to feel pain again..but she continues to punish herself. i only wish i could make her see..that she’d find a purer, truer love, in me.

am looking or a caring and sexy girl

the ever so often problem. my girlfriend dumped me. over text message. in the ten minutes we wrote she managed to brake my heart. crush my hopes and destroy all reason for life at all. i will never love anyone as much as i loved her. i won’t ever be able to feel again, since it happened i have been crying constantly, not a soul have noticed and im at school.
no friends
no love
no life. no nothing at all. i just want to end it all and make the pain stop. i just want to rest in peace. i haven’t felt peace for months now my life have always been about her and now that shes gone forever i think im gonna die by myself before i get to jump in front of a train or however i wanna go

One Thursday night I went out with some friends. I was in a bar when my boyfriend text me saying he was going out as well.
My city isn’t that big so a few minutes later I saw a car stopping in a red light and my boyfriend was the one seating in the front seat, next to the driver. I went there with a friend (male friend) who my boyfriend doesn’t really like, but I didn’t even thought about it, I was all drunky and happy.
My friend and I start singing and dancing next to the car and my boyfriend was doing signs with his hands, trying to tell me to stop. There was some other guys in the backseats who weren’t really happy as well and I didn’t understand why. I imagined they just didn’t liked the guy.
The light turned green so the car was already moving when I threw myself into the window to my boyfriend’s lap (the car had to stop obviously) and said, well, I screamed “WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO BORED?? I THINK YOU NEED SOME ALCOHOL!! DRINK IT UP!!” and I gave my boyfriend a huge cup of vodka. Unexpectedly, he didn’t want to drink it! That was strange, he never refused a free drink. I insisted A LOT, called him a baby, and he was still saying no. So I put the straw right into his mouth and said ‘Drink it or there will be no sex later’ and then start laughing. Not in an ordinary way, no, I had to do the spooky laugh and then I started to hiccup. Like this: muahahahahah hip hip hip. It was really funny.
A few seconds later, I saw who the driver was: HIS MOTHER! My whole body and face just stopped. I was frightened. I mean, I am a good girl. I am in medical shcool, I study a lot, I give my seat to other people in the bus etc but I know all that crap will never matter no my boyfriend’s mum; not when the first time she saw me I was drunk, in the middle of the streat, alone with a guy her son doesn’t like and I blackmailed his loving child into drinking alcohol otherwise there would be no sex. Jesus. It happened two years ago and I still avoid going to his house when she is there. I hope she will tell a good joke about this in our wedding and we will laugh about it, but until then … x)

P.S.: needless to say, that was until now the most effective way I found to stop hiccups.

so I’ve had this girlfriend for about 1 and a half year. we’ve been throug almost everything. mostly things she did. she never really trust me and she’s been cheating on me to times. the first time i found out while i was with a very close friend of mine who really helped me a lot. but last night i was all alone when she told over text message and half past one in the night i was down at the harbor just running to forget my pain. i ran and i ran for as fast as i could until my legs just died beneath me and i fell smashing my face down on the concrete and i lied there for about half an our just screaming towards the sky while hammering my face at the concrete bleeding and crying to try and get the pain away from my heart. but everything ells but my heart was numb and as i lied there crying i didn’t really care about the people walking by. i just ignored them screaming at the sky for help and i just can’t take anymore my life is so falling apart and my exams in school starts tomorrow and all i can think of is desperately trying to figure out why i should bother keeping living. no one cares about me. i have only one real friend only one who cares about how i feel

So I am engaged to a boy. We have been engaged since Christmas eve… But every time I think of getting married to him I think of all the shit we have been through. Well a few months ago I went through his cell. I know its fucked up but I found very disturbing texts. To top it all off it was to my best friend… Well that night after reading them I didn’t tell my fiancé. I played the day off like it was all ok. Than that night i called up my ex friend flipping out. I tolled her to text him saying that she showed me them. Than things got ugly. I asked him about them and he lied. Him not knowing that I read every single one with my own eyes on his phone. He lied and said he didn’t say those things. He still doesn’t know I read them off his phone and i don’t know how to tell him. He said I shouldn’t be going through his shit. Well I am fed up with living this lie everyday. Everytime I see him I just want to tell him… So he can break up with me… DOes it make me a bad person? Should I not of went through his phone? I don’t even know anymore… I don’t even know if I truly love him anymore… What do I do… please someone help me out… FML