I worked with this guy for a year wasn’t that close to him until he broke up with his gf. He started talking to me more I would listen to him talk about how mean his ex was that he didn’t get enough sex and she wanted him to go to church with her and he didn’t think he should have to go to church to get sex from her and after there kid was born she expected more from him. This went on for 6 months. We were talking about the same ol things he always complained about and he was drunk like always when out of nowhere he tells me he loves me and has for a while and tells me we should fuck (his exact words) I changed the subject quick and told him I would see him at work . At work he comes up to me drunk and asks again if I would fuck him. I say no. The next night his ex comes in she works in the same building and has to come to his department often. He starts flipping her off and acting like an ass. After she left he comes up to me and tells me what a whore she is and did I see him flip her off. I said so, you been flipping me off all night he then said well u are in the same category as her except your not a whore. I was pissed he just compared me to his ex because I wouldn’t fuck him. I considered him a friend and spent alot of time trying to help him and he just slapped me in the face with that comment. What the fuck. I didn’t speak to him much after that. And idk why but I felt a little hurt that I had spent 6 months trying to help him and thinking we were friends then he starts all this shit. Almost 4 months latter he text me and said if he did anything wrong he was sorry and that he was sober now and was going to church w his fiance (who also told him he had to go to church with her to get sex) and he considered me a great friend. I’m like WTF am I suppose to say to that.

i fucking hate this summer because it seems everyone is having fun except for me. i havent had someone text me all summer to make plans. all my friends are bitches, and they dont care about me, i feel like im the only one who gives a damn. all i want is for someone to ask me like how my day was when they know im sad, or when something big happens and i want them to congratulate me. thats not too much to ask. i want friends who care about me and who will do anything for mee. everyone i know has someone like that for them, i guess they all just forgot about me.

Six months ago, me and all my best friends , julie chan , naomi , charles planned to celebrate new year’s count down at julie’s villa beside a heavenly beach and far from large cities. Charles even bought fireworks and barbecue set. Everyday I imagine the event and it totally made me excited. But SUDDENfuckingLY! 2 days before the event my uncle already bought a goddamn ticket to sarawak for me! FUCKLA! I missed the fucking event that we planned for 3 goddamn months! I wasted my fucking time forced to fuck fishing at sarawak! Bloody fucking hell! The night of the countdown im stuck at a fuck hotel! He was fucking sleeping! And all I imagine is my friends at the villa! It fucking hurts my fuckfeelings! Do you all know how it feels like to celebrate new year in a goddamn hotel room with the lights switched off and ur uncle snorring? FUCK SYAITAN! 2010 is my final school year and wasted for nothing! FUCK! I was forced to go! All my family forced me since the ticket is bought without asking me! They fucking know that I have plans! FUCK MY LIFE! Then when I got back home, I start smashing drinking glasses, burning mom’s fav magazines, playing BMTH songs with high volume speaker and sleepover at charle’s place. I like to advice to all u ppl if ur life is also fuck. Listen to ‘Bring Me The Horizon’ songs.

I have no people skills. When I was in school I thought that getting attention from others was all I needed to have a social life and so I would say all kinds of extreme stuff to others for shock value, stuff that was sexually perverse and racist, which had no value to me but I figured would turn heads in my directions. This attention seeking only annoyed people and they didn’t want to be around me because it was irritation them because they knew it was all meaningless stuff but that’s all I could do because, I was too scared to be honest and open about myself. I was secretive and paranoid that any truth about me will be used against me, so I just put on this clown persona that no one but me found funny. So I would spend all my time alone at school lunch breaks, wandering the halls without friends and for I while I thought I didn’t need anybody. Then I pissed away my opportunity to have a car because I thought driving was too much responsibility and that all I needed in life was television and a dog to play with. So I couldn’t really leave home and then I went to ITT for year before dropping out where anytime someone tried to talk to me I would just ignore them because after my failure to get friends in high school, I figured any person would simply just end up picking on me and treating me like shit when I was there for being weird. Then I dropped and figured my stepbrother will hang out with me and drive me everywhere and then I can be around his friends because they accepted me, but all his friends live too far away and I don’t have a car and my stepbrother got married and leaving for the army so then I’ll have no one around. Girls don’t pay attention to me much because I’m never out there where I could meet somebody, I’m stuck all alone living with my parents in a trailer. I wish I could find a girlfriend but then I would just probably ignore any girl that shows interest in me because I don’t feel like I deserve happiness. I’m too much of a fuck up and I deserve to suffer, at least that’s how I feel when any opportunity arises to get myself out of the mess I put myself in and then I just go and piss that opportunity away because I feel like a deserve to get punished for being screwed up, that I don’t deserve good things, that I don’t deserve to be liked. A year ago a cute girl took interest in me and her family was trying to be nice to me and all but I completely ignored her because, well, she doesn’t deserve someone like me. What could there possibly be in me. Yeah, I have good hygiene, I don’t do drugs or alcohol because I don’t like that out of control state that the stuff can put you in, but I’m fucked in the head and I made too many mistakes and so pathetic and besides even I was in a social setting with friends, I wouldn’t be able to say anything or have a conversation because there is nothing to talk about because nothing is going on in my life so having friends would be frustrating, but not as much as not having any. I’m writing a novel and the writing is going to be a hell of a lot better than this and I’m hoping I can publish it and be a writer because that’s something I always but I feel like my novel is going to be rejected because I’ve come to expect that people out there don’t like anything that comes from me, though no one has yet read my novel because its not finished. If I can’t be a writer, then what can I be? I want to do what I like, be successful at it and be paid for it. I’m 24 and I’ve never been in a relationship or gotten laid which seems really wrong, but how I can I be expected to do those things when I’m pretty much invisible to everyone, drifting through the world like a shadow, cut off from everybody, living like a hermit with no way to get out and do anything, all because I didn’t want the responsibility of driving, and I didn’t see a need to even have a cell phone because who the hell would want to talk to me. No one likes me. Hopefully I can succeed as a novelist. As teenager I wanted to be like a little kid so ignored opportunities for social life and being given a car and now when I have no money, I kind of regret taking my luck for granted. I thought rejecting good things when they drop in my lap was going to bite me in the ass and it did, it bit me in the ass with loneliness.

I want to move on another body, i beg god everyday to change my life and solve this fucking mental issues but guess what? Nothing fuck. Thank you god that is fucking awesome. And these fucking friends can come and knock at my door and say heeey wtf are you doing are you still a life? Or something but no, everyone looks at me so mad and i do not know why the fuck

well lets see, im a 17 year old living at home, i go to outreach schooling. iv lived all over this province and still have no luck finding any real friends. everytime I think someone is my friend I get screwed over.. girls dont like me because I dont take their drama, and guys only want to sleep with me then throw me away. All i have ever had for friends are people that use me when there is no one better to hang out with or when they need something from me. I dont know what to do god damn it! I actually literaly hate my life!

FML!

today my friends ditched me for no reason ad they hated me while i was riding my bike they shot me with a paintball gun FUCK MY LIFE FUCK THEIR LIFE AND I HOPE THEY GO TO FUCKIN HELL FUCK THOSE NIGGA WHORES now i wake up and i just want to fucking suicde i have no mum dads in fucking werever he is and my fucking auntie is taking care of me i hope my aunties family die

My best friend fucked my sister.