I’m a little different.
To start, I am fifteen years old, a nineth grader, and male.
You see, I’ve gotten used to the fact that I don’t have too many offline friends. I have never had a girlfriend. Never did anything that got me outta the background. ‘I’m stupid, I’m useless, I can’t do anything right…’
The digital world is my friend. I’m anonymous. I can laugh. I can smile. I can have friends. I can listen to music. Not get hassled. Tripped. Told that I’m a hoe, etc.
I can have fun.
And my parents encourage me to make some real friends. The one time I actually try, I get grounded for what I did; talk in class and get in ‘trouble’ for it.
That cemented my belief that the ‘Net was the best place for me, along with things like my iPod. Games and chatting were my escape.
So because my grades slipped a little bit, my parents are taking away my freedom, one by one.
I am no longer allowed to watch Television, though I don’t really care about that.
My iPod has been shipped to the U.S. And I live on the other side of the world.
I can’t play games on my DS, or PS3.
I’m being isolated from the few friends I have at school, via a phone call about seat-changing.
And my computer is the last thing I have. When I had everything, I barely spent time on the computer. Now, it’s the only thing keeping me going.
It is the last barrier between me and madness. What other things I can do? Reading, writing, and drawing. I can’t do the first; I’ve already read all the books we have at home. Not the second or third, I prefer to type over writing, and since my mom searches my drawings and writings out and reads over ‘em, I’d decided I didn’t want to do it again.
As I have stated before. The computer is the only thing I have that’s keeping me going.
They constantly change the password on the net adapter so I have to BEG for it.
They steal my laptop’s charger so that I can’t use my computer all the time.
They frequently threaten to clear out my harddrive.
So, explain to me, how parents are caring?
I’ve already considered the knife.
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Dreary / Deserved ? |
Im really sorry to hear this.. usually i dont bother to reply, but this time i was quite shocked. i dont think i understand what you wrote, you say you have a few friends but now they are isolating you from them.. have you talked to them? because they seem a bit harsh to me.. you 15 so i guess your still pretty young, and this might be horrible advice, but take a stand sometimes, break the rules and show them your not scared.. i never had such problems because my parents never grounded me.. but i fight with them a lot because i dont always agree with them and i show them that.. if i was in your shoes i dont even wanna think about what i would do..i hope things get better, because its really sad that you feel this way about yourself.
what the fuckis wrong with your parents? Call protective services and shit why they be doing taht shit to you going through your drawings and shit; that shit aint right